Blog: But what if a crisis never happens?

„What is necessary to change a person, is to change his awareness of himself“ — Abraham Maslow

I personally believe that even without experiencing a personal crisis, we can learn to detect many problems rooted in our life (and solve them) with the right tools and insights. In particular, our digitalized world offers us plenty of mediums that provide us with the knowledge needed e.g. we can get books on demand, engage in free online courses (I really recommend Coursera; the site is in German but the content is mostly international), follow inspirational people on IG/Facebook (I really like Jay Shetty, Jordan Petersen, Simon Sinek and Tony Robbins) or listen to various podcasts on the go (Tony Robbins Podcast, the mindvalley Podcast, the Good Life Project, School of Greatness). However, you somehow have to consciously start to search for these topics and be aware of them. BTW CONGRATULATIONS — you are actually already aware of them as you are reading these lines right now. In fact, you are one of a lucky minority engaging in this topic in their spare time. Why lucky? All the topics within the self development area can constitute a game changer in your personal and professional life. The earlier you start to realize what is happening inside of you and how to control it, the higher the quality of your life will be.

“As my awareness increases, my control over my own being increases.” William Schutz

But that´s enough storytelling for now, back to the actual topic of this post. If a crisis never happens to you the only way to bring change is AWARENESS. Let me restate it: the only way to bring change is AWARENESS. But what exactly means that? If you google awareness, Cambridge Dictionary says: ”Knowledge that something exists, or understanding of a situation or subject at the present time based on information or experience”. After reading this definition you may notice the issue at hand — recognition “at present time”. We put most of our actions in context or realize how we acted/reacted far after the situation happened. Sometimes we never really question something or reflect on how we behaved or acted at all. And this is often the part that prevents us from changing in the first place. If we are not aware of the circumstances of our behavior how can we evaluate it? Besides what’s also interesting about the definition of awareness, is the last part “based on information or experience”. We evaluate all external influences based on our beliefs which we formed trough our environment and previous experiences (human behavior is belief driven). Believes control our actions and all beliefs carry consequences. A belief is a feeling of certainty about what something means. A belief can be compared to a tabletop with legs to support it — each reference (leg) in life make the belief (table) stronger (more stable). Consequently, we can perceive the same situation in a total different way based on “our table”. There is no reality itself but rather a subjective perception of reality. Everyone has a customized and unique table. I will further elaborate “perception and reality” in another post since this is a big and very important topic. But one food for thought beforehand: If the external part is “neutral” and you yourself are actually the one giving the certain positive or negative meaning to it, how strong would it be if you can control the meaning you attach to it?! You could actually change how the world is (at least from your perspective)!

I just told you that the only way to bring change is AWARENESS. But admittingly there is a big limitation to this idea. What happens if you just do not know or feel that something is wrong in your life? Indeed, most people are not aware that there are issues that is causing them be unhappy and fail in relationships, health or business. And even if they would be aware, most people cannot engage in these self-reflecting processes due to a lack of time (to get all the necessary information) and perspective (where should I start; how should I start). A coach might be a valid alternative. The so called “life coaches” can facilitate the process of self-reflection therefore helping us to become aware of issues that hold us back in life and can give us a toolkit that help us to change in the long-run. Yet, you have to make the decision to reach out to a coach and schedule a so called “clarity session” that gives you a first impression of what a coach can offer to you. But most people never really do that because it either never crosses their minds or they are too embarrassed to have a coach. With regards to the latter there are 2 misconceptions at work: 1) An internal perspective where people judge themselves for reaching out to external support (people usually do not want to admit that they can help themselves and need help) and 2) an external perspective where people feel that other people with judge them for hiring someone to help them (in many parts of this world it is still not socially accepted to get mental help).

Anyway, that´s it for today. You will find more on this coaching topic in my next post “Intro 3: Change me — I paid for it!”.

Cheers, Nick